Presidential Debate – The Happy Clam Version

posted in: Current Events | 0

Right before the first Presidential debate started on October 3, 2012, Happy Clam-in-Chief said out loud, “PLEASE don’t let it be boring!” And so it was.

So instead, Happy Clam decided to take refuge in watching something else on Netflix. An episode of Firefly again? Or “24”. Surely, Jack Bauer can heroically save Happy Clam from death-by-tax-discussions.

Alas, Netflix’s website apparently went down sometime around the start of the debate. Can you say conspiracy?

Well then, Happy Clam had to outsmart the Secret Plan To Force People To Watch The Debate, code-named Project Zzzzzz….

She entertained herself by rearranging the AtaBoy Magnets in the stock room, also known as The Sandcastle.

Happy Clam started wondering why debates can’t be more, um, FUN? So, she staged her own Presidential Debate right then and there and promptly declared herself “Moderator Clam”.

The debate started out friendly with each candidate trying to charm the other into letting his guard down:

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That worked for awhile. Then things got acrimonious:

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There was even name-calling:

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It was BRUTAL:

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Then things got obscenely scandalous – no holds barred. Both candidates alleged photos found on each other’s Facebook page.

Moderator Clam was too riveted to re-direct the candidates’ outrageous claims. She was staring at visual proof of…goofiness?

AtaBoy Magnet Photo Of My Melons - Happy Clam Store

and this –

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Once the snickering died down, mostly coming from Moderator Clam, each candidate was asked about his foreign policy ideas. One replied:

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And the other responded:

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So there you have it! Even diametrically opposed presidential candidates can still agree on something. And that, my friends, makes Happy Clam a:

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