There’s No Place Like Happy Clam Store For The Holidays

Experiencing the stress warm feelings of the holidays yet? We know. Us too.

As we hurriedly packed a shipment of humorous Anne Taintor magnets and greeting cards, it was as if the captions were trying to communicate some comfort to us.

Telepathically, our Anne Taintor products were telling us that the hectic pace of the season will eventually settle into a heartwarming celebration of togetherness and contentment. No, REALLY! We swear! In fact, we shouldn’t even worry so much about what to wear for the upcoming Mayan apocalypse.

Everything will be okay. So relax with us and sing along with the Tone-Deaf Clams:

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays

Anne Taintor Magnet "I Dreamed My Whole House Was Clean"
Anne Taintor Magnet “I Dreamed My Whole House Was Clean” $4.50

‘Cause no matter how far away you roam

Anne Taintor Magnet "If By Happy You Mean Trapped With No Means Of Escape...?  Then Yes, I'm Happy"
Anne Taintor Magnet “If By Happy You Mean Trapped With No Means Of Escape…? Then Yes, I’m Happy” $4.50

When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "I Feel A Sin Coming On"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “I Feel A Sin Coming On” $2.50

For the holidays you can’t beat home, sweet home

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "Errands...Housecleaning...Dinner At Six...How Does He Do It?"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “Errands…Housecleaning…Dinner At Six…How Does He Do It?” $2.50

I met a man who lives in Tennessee

Anne Taintor Magnet "What Muffled Screams, Officer?"
Anne Taintor Magnet “What Muffled Screams, Officer?” $4.50

And he was headin’ for Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie

Anne Taintor Magnet "She Couldn't Remember...What It One Teaspoon Of Arsenic Or Two?"
Anne Taintor Magnet “She Couldn’t Remember…What It One Teaspoon Of Arsenic Or Two?” $4.50

From Pennsylvania, folks are travelin’ down to Dixie’s sunny shore

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "Walk Faster...The Children Are Catching Up"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “Walk Faster…The Children Are Catching Up” $2.50

From Atlantic to Pacific, gee, the traffic is terrific!

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "It Would, Of Course, Have To Look Like An Accident"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “It Would, Of Course, Have To Look Like An Accident” $2.50

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "My Garden Kicks Ass"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “My Garden Kicks Ass” $2.50

‘Cause no matter how far away you roam

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "You Be Thelma, I'll Be Louise"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “You Be Thelma, I’ll Be Louise” $2.50

If you want to be happy in a million ways

Anne Taintor Magnet "I Have So Much...And Yet I Want More!"
Anne Taintor Magnet “I Have So Much…And Yet I Want More!” $4.50

For the holidays you can’t beat home, sweet home

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "What Part Of 'I'm Hung Over, Go Home' Don't You Understand?"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “What Part Of ‘I’m Hung Over, Go Home’ Don’t You Understand?” $2.50

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(So yeah, the images and captions pretty much sum up our interpretation of those perky lyrics. We feel sassier already. Hope you do, too. Cheers!)

SPECIAL PROMO CODE: booyah
Apply to your Cart for 15% off your subtotal. Limited to available stock. Expires December 8, 2012, exactly 13 days before the Mayan apocalypse.

And one final warning holiday greeting…

Anne Taintor Greeting Card "You Saw Mommy Kissing No One, Understand?"
Anne Taintor Greeting Card “You Saw Mommy Kissing No One, Understand?” $2.50 Individual Card or $14.00 Boxed Set of 10 cards/11 envelopes

(Inside) peace * love * understanding